Monthly Archives: June 2014

Questions & Answers

For a few years, despite being raised in church and raising my children in church, I began to doubt my faith.  I questioned why things happened in my past, yelled at God, cried into my pillow, read many books and blogs.  
I was searching.  I was looking.  I was not finding any answers.  Well, “new” answers.
I knew all along what needed to happen.  I kept thinking there would be some new answer, some new information.  Some bright, shining, neon sign that would point me in the right direction.
Guess what? There wasn’t a bright, shiny, neon sign.  There was no new answer, no new information.  
In Ecclesiastes 1:9, the “Preacher’ tells us, that there is nothing new under the sun.
It took me a while to realize that this applied to my life as well as the actions in the world at large.  Let me explain.  I was not the first person who had grown up in the church to begin to question their faith.  I was not the first Christian to suffer from depression.  I certainly wasn’t the first person to look for answers to my questions in places other than the Bible.
When I heard the Lord speak to my spirit and felt His gentle hand leading me to where I should be, I realized I was once again home.  I had questions, but they no longer mattered.  I didn’t have the answers I was looking for, but I had the answers that mattered.  
We should seek, because Seeking Is Believing, but it is what and who we seek that matters.

use the right book sg



Waiting Is Learning Without Fear

I shifted in the chair for the eleventy billionth time asking myself why hospital waiting rooms have extremely uncomfortable chairs?  

Hospital waiting room

This was not my first time waiting like this and it certainly would not be the last.  That was not the way life worked.  

Eight years ago, I lost my mother.  Less than two months later, her mother (my grandmother followed).  Fifteen months later, my remaining grandmother.  My heart was heavy, but life goes forward.

Now here I sit, waiting once again.  This time it was for my great-aunt.  My mother’s aunt, but yet only a few years older.  This aunt was special.  She spoiled like an aunt was want to do, but loved and chastised like a mother.  Things were definitely different when she was around.  A special light resided inside of her and it shined like sunbeams on water.  All of her numerous nieces and nephews loved being with her.  Even if it was just sitting on the couch, not talking, but the small touch of her hand, the soft squeeze let you know she loved you.  

She was the wife of a pastor, a mother and grandmother, leader and prayer warrior, fashion model and chief cook and bottle washer.  Not afraid of hard work but loved to wear beautiful clothes.  One who welcomed and loved of all babies and little children.  

I shifted in the chair again, rolled my neck to stretch and listened to the cracks and pops.  I watched the people come in and out.  There was nothing but love all around us. 

A young girl was asking questions about how we were dealing with it all.  She told me that she really had no experience with death, she didn’t know what to think of all this.  To her it was so different.  I smiled and said, “The Christian heart has hope.  We know death is not final.  Our hope is in Jesus Christ who is our Resurrection.”  

Death is not the end,
for it brings the promise of new life.  

We are humans.  We will of course cry and miss our loved one something fierce.
However, that sadness is tempered with

I am reminded of a scripture that my mother loved.  In times of trial and sorrow I remember this:

Joshua 1:9 NIV
Have I not commanded you?
Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid;
do not be discouraged,
for the Lord your God will be
with you wherever you go.” 

Some versions replace the word “afraid” with “terrified“.  I like that.
Do Not Be Terrified! 

How many people are truly terrified in world today?  
Do not be afraid, frightened, scared…terrified.  Our Lord is with us.
Not only “with us”, but with us
Wherever we go.
Wherever covers a big territory, my friends.  


no fear in love


I switched chairs.  I walked the halls.  I answered phones.  I directed traffic.  I watched and waited.   No, there was no fear.  No one was terrified.  No one was discouraged.  No one was dismayed.  Yes there were tears, but there were hugs, there were kisses, there were small touches and a squeeze of a hand of the one next to you to let them know that you were there.  

Jesus knows our hearts, he knows our minds, He knows the number of days that we have here on this earth.  There is no fear in the end of those days when you know that Jesus is our life and promise.

Psalms 139:16 NLT
You saw me before I was born.

    Every day of my life was recorded in your book.
Every moment was laid out
    before a single day had passed.


I went back to the waiting room and watched the other families.  We were all shifting in our fabulous waiting room chairs.  Some of these families seemed to have the same peace that we held.  Others did not.   


Waiting can teach you many things.
These are the moments in which we learn. 


But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.  

Isaiah 40:31 KJV