For a few years, despite being raised in church and raising my children in church, I began to doubt my faith. I questioned why things happened in my past, yelled at God, cried into my pillow, read many books and blogs.
I was searching. I was looking. I was not finding any answers. Well, “new” answers.
I knew all along what needed to happen. I kept thinking there would be some new answer, some new information. Some bright, shining, neon sign that would point me in the right direction.
Guess what? There wasn’t a bright, shiny, neon sign. There was no new answer, no new information.
In Ecclesiastes 1:9, the “Preacher’ tells us, that there is nothing new under the sun.
It took me a while to realize that this applied to my life as well as the actions in the world at large. Let me explain. I was not the first person who had grown up in the church to begin to question their faith. I was not the first Christian to suffer from depression. I certainly wasn’t the first person to look for answers to my questions in places other than the Bible.
When I heard the Lord speak to my spirit and felt His gentle hand leading me to where I should be, I realized I was once again home. I had questions, but they no longer mattered. I didn’t have the answers I was looking for, but I had the answers that mattered.
We should seek, because Seeking Is Believing, but it is what and who we seek that matters.